It’s been a while since I last checked in. But in that time, things between Johnathan and I have been moving pretty fast. You remember the guy with the body to die for with the amazing conversation, right? Well, we went from dating to a full-blown relationship within two weeks. Since we were both looking for commitment, we felt like there was no need to play games.
But making this relationship work has been harder than either of us anticipated. We work two different shifts, so finding quality time is very hard. When I’m awake, he’s asleep. I’m off on weekends, and he’s off during the week. There’s also a seven-year age gap that was really starting to show. Sleep is his best friend, so if I don’t plan an activity, we don’t do anything. And if I don’t initiate sex, it doesn’t happen. Not to mention he won’t take out the trash, wash a dish, or buy a loaf of bread. We went from seeing each other every day to only Thursday through Sunday. Are you guys starting to see where this is going? I find myself holding up my end of the bargain, but I don’t feel that he’s meeting me halfway. I decided we should take the love language test to better understand what we need from each other. But he didn’t take the darn test!
“I don’t think this is working. We moved too fast. When are you coming to get your stuff and drop off the key?” After my text, I got no reply, no call, nothing.
I asked Johnathan what he knew about me. He replied, “I know when you love or care about someone, you show it.” Wow, that’s it? Do y’all know how many late-night conversations we’ve had? Of course, you do, because I told you about it last time! I realized that he never asked me about myself because he did most of the talking. I can tell you everything he’s ever told me about himself and his family. That’s when I realized this relationship wasn’t going anywhere. Johnathan is all about himself.
I started to pray that the Lord would remove him from my life if this wasn’t going anywhere. And almost on cue, Johnathan called me and said, “I need to talk to you.” So I automatically thought he was about to dump me. OK, God, I see you. But Johnathan gave me the shock of my life when he said, “I have colon cancer.” Don’t you think you should have told me that upfront? It took all I had to not go clean in on this man. I probably would have been writing this from jail. I felt like he knew I was about to give up on us, and tried to use the, “I sleep so much because I’m sick” excuse. He asked me not to decide if I wanted to continue the relationship until after I slept on it. I thought about it, and I felt bad about leaving. But I got over it two weeks later and took the easy way out – break up via text. “I don’t think this is working. We moved too fast. When are you coming to get your stuff and drop off the key?” After my text, I got no reply, no call, nothing. I guess it got hard playing house in two different households!
I can honestly say that I’m not mad or hurt. I’m relieved that I had the courage to end things instead of dragging it out by putting the other person’s feelings and needs before my own. This whole dating process has allowed me to grow, as well. I fully understand what I desire from my mate, what things are most important, and what things are deal-breakers. I look at all of these failed relationships as stepping stones to prepare me for my forever. I’m still open to dates and meeting new people. I’m just not rushing it.